Upfrontin' - Fox shows what they're going to stall time with before "American Idol" starts

It's the last day of the upfronts, and the two youngest networks - Fox and The CW - announced their fall lineups. "Veronica Mars"-free. Ick. Also, "The War at Home"-free. Yay!

Here's what we've got from Fox:

FOX PRIMETIME SCHEDULE: FALL 2007 (All Times ET/PT)

MONDAY
8:00-9:00 PM PRISON BREAK
9:00-10:00 PM K-VILLE

"K-Ville" is about cops in post-Katrina New Orleans. Interesting, and I hope it shows to more people that New Orleans is still in bad shape, almost two years later.

TUESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM NEW AMSTERDAM
9:00-10:00 PM HOUSE

"New Amsterdam," other than being an Elvis Costello song, is about an immortal detective. Kind of like "Moonlight" on CBS, which is about a vampire detective. And you know, all of the other shows that have been like that.

WEDNESDAY
8:00-8:30 PM BACK TO YOU
8:30-9:00 PM 'TIL DEATH
9:00-10:00 PM BONES

"Back To You" is sort of like "Anchorman" but on TV, and with Kelsey Grammer instead of Will Ferrell and Patricia Heaton instead of Christina Applegate. Still has Fred Willard, though. I'm actually sort of psyched for it. I have a sneaking suspicion it'll be bad, though.

THURSDAY
8:00-9:00 PM ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5th GRADER?
9:00-10:00 PM KITCHEN NIGHTMARES

"Kitchen Nightmares" is a new reality show with Gordon Ramsay, a.k.a. the "Hell's Kitchen" dude, where he travels around the country helping u. Yes, this is a weird choice for a fall lineup. Seems very summer-y, or like something that should be on basic cable, given the many, many, cable shows that are exactly like this.

FRIDAY
8:00-9:00 PM THE SEARCH FOR THE NEXT GREAT AMERICAN
BAND (working title)
9:00-10:00 PM NASHVILLE (working title)

"Great American Band" = "American Idol" with more people. "Nashville" is a "docu-soap," like "Laguna Beach" or (ugh) "Tuesday Night Book Club," about the music industry there. Sounds like a CMT show. Wow.

SATURDAY 8:00-8:30 PM COPS
8:30-9:00 PM COPS
9:00-10:00 PM AMERICA'S MOST WANTED: AMERICA FIGHTS BACK
11:00 PM-MIDNIGHT MADtv
MIDNIGHT-12:30 AM TALK SHOW WITH SPIKE FERESTEN

No surprises here. On "The Howard Stern Show," Artie Lange had been talking about possibly getting a show post-"Spike Feresten," but apparently that's not (yet) the case.

SUNDAY
7:00-8:00 PM THE OT (NFL post-game)
8:00-8:30 PM THE SIMPSONS
8:30-9:00 PM KING OF THE HILL
9:00-9:30 PM FAMILY GUY
9:30-10:00 PM AMERICAN DAD

Nothing new here, really, except no more "The War at Home" and "The Winner" being official toast (not surprising). "American Dad" just keeps going, man. Who could say why. And if you had bet me cash monies whenever "King of the Hill" started (I think I was in junior high), that it'd still be going on in 2007, I would owe you said cash monies.

Their midseason shows sound a lot more promising. "The Return of Jezebel James," starring the ever-effervescent Parker Posey and Lauren Ambrose, is from "Gilmore Girls" creator Amy Sherman-Palladino, and "The Rules of Starting Over" is of course the infamous show Karen on "The Office" (or Rashida Jones, as she is "really called") will be on - along with Craig Bierko, he's always entertaining. Plus, Julianna Margulies is on Yet Another Legal Drama called "Canterbury's Law."

Then there's "The Sarah Connor Chronicles," because what TV needs more of is shows based on characters from 23-year-old sci-fi franchises. I can't wait for the "Johnny 5 Chronicles"!

Next up - The CW.

OC: Officially Canceled

It's sort of weird for a show to end after only four seasons, and I guess it's a testament to the current climate (where series are axed after one episode - "Emily's Reasons Why Not," we're looking at you, right?) that it seems like it's been on for a while. It was supposed to be this generation's "90210," and I guess it's better that it's ending rather than going on for years too long and bringing in a countless number of lame characters.

But anyway, "The O.C." has been canceled. I watched it back when it was the cool thing for people my age (well, slightly younger than me), and ditched it when it was the cool thing to ditch.

In other cancellation news, "The Megan Mullally Show" has gotten the ol' boot, meaning she lasted a shorter amount of time than Tony Danza, Caroline Rhea of Wayne Brady. I think even "The Magic Hour" was on a bit longer.

Find me guilty

How about that OJ? What a jerk, right? He's really resting on his laurels - milking a crime that's over a decade old? That's pretty lazy for a murderer. Everytime a big scandal sweeps the media, be it Lacey Patterson or Terri Schiavo or a Yankee pitcher flying his plane into a building, I hope that OJ is somehow masterminding the whole thing. What's the point of the special anyway? To give people tips on how to be better murderers? To let his kids know, in hindsight, how he really should have killed their mother? Although it's nice to see Fox returning to their slimy roots after flirting with credibility in recent years. We all miss the days of "When Animals Attack," "Celebrity Boxing" and "Let's give Michael Jackson time to tell us he's not a weirdo." I think by air date the bad buzz will be such that it'll likely never air, a la "Who's Your Daddy" or my even more controverisal reality show pilot, "Hiding in Kristen Bell's Bathroom." It's still unimaginable that any network (or book pubilsher) would even associate with the guy, especially this project ("Frogmen 2K6" would have been slightly more acceptable). Really, though, programming like this OJ special is exactly the kind of thing that makes me wish Jordan McDeere was a real television executive. Bad crack in the school yard, indeed.

Adaptive behavior

"The Devil Wears Prada" is coming to Fox. They should call it "Pretty Elizabeth."

Two shows about the behind the scenes of a late sketch program being on simultaneously is unlikely, but two shows about unstylish girls working their way up an impossibly stylish New York City fashion magazine is just sort of, I don't know, lame.

Stupid but cancelled

You heard it here first, folks! It looks like "Happy Hour," along with "Justice," are the first cancellations of the fall season. Sure, Fox SAYS that they're coming back, but we all know what replacing a show with repeats three weeks into its run really means. What I don't get is why "Justice," which had more pre-show buzz and bigger stars than the other sort of similar, one-word new Fox dramas "Standoff" and "Vanished," is first to go. What a wacky world.