Albert was right

You heard it here first, folks: I boldly predicted that the O.J. Simpson special wouldn't ever actually air, and here's a surprise, I was right. Actually, it shouldn't be too much of a surprise for loyal "Channel Surfing" devotees, not only did I fearlessly proclaim Emmitt Smith winner of "Dancing with the Stars" more than 24 hours before he officially won that title, I also declared "Smith" the first cancellation of the fall season back in July or something, when such a claim would have made me look off my nut. Stick with me, Surfers, together we'll make a difference in this crazy world.

Find me guilty

How about that OJ? What a jerk, right? He's really resting on his laurels - milking a crime that's over a decade old? That's pretty lazy for a murderer. Everytime a big scandal sweeps the media, be it Lacey Patterson or Terri Schiavo or a Yankee pitcher flying his plane into a building, I hope that OJ is somehow masterminding the whole thing. What's the point of the special anyway? To give people tips on how to be better murderers? To let his kids know, in hindsight, how he really should have killed their mother? Although it's nice to see Fox returning to their slimy roots after flirting with credibility in recent years. We all miss the days of "When Animals Attack," "Celebrity Boxing" and "Let's give Michael Jackson time to tell us he's not a weirdo." I think by air date the bad buzz will be such that it'll likely never air, a la "Who's Your Daddy" or my even more controverisal reality show pilot, "Hiding in Kristen Bell's Bathroom." It's still unimaginable that any network (or book pubilsher) would even associate with the guy, especially this project ("Frogmen 2K6" would have been slightly more acceptable). Really, though, programming like this OJ special is exactly the kind of thing that makes me wish Jordan McDeere was a real television executive. Bad crack in the school yard, indeed.