'Dancing with the Stars' - Josie grossie

Though co-host Samantha Harris was busy having a baby or something today, "Dancing with the Stars" is back. Of course, being a recognized international "Dancing with the Stars" expert (I talked about the show on the Shane Foxman show on CFUN in Vancouver, after all), I was watching.

First of all, I know they like to milk ratings, but six dances in 90 minutes is really pretty pathetic. That's like 12 minutes of dancing, a really disappointing dancerate. That's a lot of Tom Bergeron (and Drew Lachey, filling in for Harris) padding.

Sabrina Bryan, despite not being someone I've ever heard of, was surprisingly awesome, and they netted a 26 - a tie for the best first-week score ever with season three's powerhouse Mario Lopez/Karina Smirnoff team. Jennie Garth was there. Jane Seymour and Marie Osmond were pleasant enough for people old enough to be my mother - it's nice to see older women on the show for a change, as we've always gotten old dudes (Peterman, George Hamilton, Jerry Springer, Cliff Claven).

Josie Maran, with her 16 out of 30, is an easy pick for the first cut, and I can say that pretty confidently even before any of the men have performed. Despite being terribly attractive, no one knows who she is (Shandi Finnessey syndrome), and she got a freakin' 16 out of 30. Women have a harder time on the show with voters anyway (the voters love hot men/adorably old men), and even if Wayne Newton's hip explodes tomorrow, I still see her getting the first boot.