Primitive notion

It's here! On TV, right now! "Cavemen," the show that is so bad they won't let critics see it, the show with the worse buzz since "Baby Bob." Maybe a little worse, actually. Let's see how long I can last with it - personally, I'm surprised that it wasn't canceled before the west coast airing.

7:03 p.m. - Wow, this is a very ugly show. Both the way it's shot and the makeup of the characters.

7:04 p.m. - OMG, Nick Swardson! I like him! Not that his presence indicates quality. He was in "The Benchwarmers."

7:07 p.m. - So, what's the plot of this show, exactly? That this show takes place in some sort of alternate universe where somehow there are cavemen that have survived today but are otherwise in every way like anyone else except for having crappy makeup applied to their faces? And other than that, the world is exactly the same? That's the kind of thing that's not important in a 30-second commercial, but on a series, will start to seem even stupider than it obviously is. So is Swardson a regular character on this show or what?

7:10 p.m. - "Carpoolers" (which I didn't realize until right now stars the patriarch from "Sons and Daughters") looks like it won't be much better; at least this has some sort of a (lame) hook. I probably won't find out. I probably won't find out what the next 20 minutes of this is like, either.

7:27 p.m. - I turned it back on and caught the end. It's not like this show is SO bad - though it is quite bad - but it's more, like, what the heck is the point? The best jokes are just ones about three dudes, and at that point the caveman gimmick seems wholly unnecessary. But since it is such an obnoxious and intrusive element, it's not like you could get past that - and for all the times the cavemen aspect is played up, there's hardly even any creepy, vaguely racist overtones people were crowing about. No buys.