You must see these television programs

Here is some refreshingly refreshing news! We don't have to wait until January for new "Scrubs," it's coming back November 30 - and it's back in its original (and most natural) home of Thursday nights. Also encouraging: "30 Rock" being moved to Thursdays, effectively bringing back "Must See TV" (which they kind of did with "Will & Grace," "Four Kings," "My Name is Earl" and "The Office" last year, but come on). Perhaps the best news is that this seem to leave "Twenty Good Years" in the ditch.

Possible headlines: "Network doesn't want to live 'Twenty Good Years,'" "'Twenty Good Years' doesn't last four good episodes," "NBC cuts short 'Twenty Good Years,'" "'Twenty Good Years' is cancelled."

It ain't fiction, just a natural fact

Amazingly, the NewsRadio FanFic Archive (which was inexplicably updated just *two* months ago) is no longer the weirdest fan fiction site on the Internet. That distinction now belongs to the Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip Fanfiction Community, where seemingly the only trope is Matt and Danny getting it on. Of course, straight characters going gay is sort of the reason fanfic was invented anyway.

Although it'll be very hard for "Studio 60" fan fiction to top the creepiness of this.

Conan the Adventurer

This sounds fun. It's sort of a bummer that it has to be a repeat, it would be nice if technology had progressed to a point where live images of humans with skin, organs and that kind of stuff can be projected as skeletons (the fact that "Late Night" is never live doesn't stop me from wanting this).

Channel Surfing for Friday, October 20

No longer satisfied from ripping from headlines, "Law & Order" is now ripping from shows that air on the same network. What's next, ripping stories from Jay Leno's "Headlines"?

Law & Order
9 p.m., NBC
It’s not just “ripped from the headlines” — it’s shades of “Dateline NBC” series “To Catch a Predator” when Green (Jesse L. Martin) and Cassady (Milena Govich) investigate the death of a man who was identified by a TV newsmagazine as a pedophile who trolled the Internet for victims.

I really enjoy that picture of Jesse L. Martin because it looks like he just smelled something gross.

There's some other stuff tonight - the return of "Extreme Makeover" (I think) and also "Battlestar Galactica." The people who haven't dug the New Caprica story will like this episode, I think. Or not. Whiners. Read here.

Situation Normal: All Fragged Up

Words to live by:

Dance your cares away,
Worry's for another day.
Let the music play,
Down at Fraggle Rock.



Yep..."Fraggle Rock" movie in development.

You think you know a gay

So T.R. Knight, George from "Grey's Anatomy," is gay. Thanks a lot, People, first Lance Bass, now this. Who's the next paragon of manliness that's going to threaten our family values with their "lifestyle"? Nathan Lane? Tim Gunn? J. Alexander?

On a serious note, here's an interesting article about the whole thing.

Channel Surfing for Thursday, October 19

It's Thursday, so always a lot going on, including the strangely resurgent "ER" - I've actually thought the show was solid for the last couple of years, if not "must see TV." People, you know, laughed at me. Don't discount the drawing power of the always-appealing John Stamos, a key to not only ratings success (look at how "Jake In Progress" burned up the sets!) but also big-time hits, thus his inclusion here.

ER
9 p.m., NBC
This year has been a ratings renaissance for “ER,” with the long-running medical show winning its time slot for the first time in years and the plan to replace it midseason with a new drama scrapped. Tonight Forest Whitaker, currently drawing rave reviews for “The King of Scotland,” guest stars as a stroke patient.

We've also got "Grey's Anatomy," "The Office," "My Name Is Earl," "Ugly Betty" and so on and so forth, read about it here.

Nothing's shocking

From the ABC DwtS WS (Web site):

In a shocking new twist, no one is sent home. Instead, bottom finishers Jerry Springer and Joey Lawrence get to dance another day! Who will make it to the final four?

That is actually the most unshocking thing they could have done. Let's hope they don't spread this style of marketing to the rest of their programming.

"In a shocking 'Extreme Makeover: Home Edition,' the home being extremely made over is for the family of some sick kid!"

With this Ching I thee Wed

"30 Rock" - A lot better than the pilot! Rachel Dratch probably shouldn't worry about not getting the main character role because Jane Krakowski doesn't exactly have much to do. The Dakota Fanning bit was funny, as was Tracy Morgan Jordan correcting the writer's grammar. "I'm Bill Cosby sweater Jell-O pudding pop."

"Lost" - I sure would hate it if some punk undercover cop weaseled his way into my pot farm. Wait, there's no punk undercover cops reading this, is there? Golly, I'll never learn my lesson.

"The Nine" - That dude was a lot less annoying as Dr. Phlox. Which is saying something.

"Way" to go

Jeffrey wins! I totally called it, too, even though I've seen maybe a combined hour this "Project Runway" season and wasn't exactly sure which one I was picking. I knew it was the ratty looking dude that was accused of cheating. Always go with the ratty looking dude accused of cheating, for the record. My mom liked his stuff, so how could I pick against her? Sam will have one of his patented nanosecond-by-nanosecond recaps up real soon.

Channel Surfing for Wednesday, October 18

As if you need me to tell you that tonight is the "Project Runway" season finale.

But still: Tonight is the "Project Runway" season finale. Sam will have his fastidiously-prepared recap soon after it airs and I'll probably have a little somethin' somethin' too. Here is my hilarious recap/joke:

Project Runway
10 p.m., Bravo
It’s the season finale — honest — and either Laura, Michael, Uli or Jeffrey will walk away with a bounty consisting of $100,000 to start a clothing line, a spread in Elle, a year of agent representation, a design firm mentorship, a 2007 Saturn Sky and, if it clears the final budget, a $10 Red Lobster gift certificate.

It's also the premiere of "Top Chef," the return of Boone to "Lost," the return of Janice Dickinson to "America's Next Top Model," Jane Leeves on "Twenty Good Years" (I know you're psyched, don't lie) and other things as well. Read the rest here.

Across the universe

One of the funnier aspects of TV fandom is people online referring to the fictional world "The West Wing" takes place in as "The West Wing universe," making it sound like some sort of sci-fi show (when it is obviously anything but. unless that element went over my head). Basically it's too explain things like Presidential elections happening in 2006 and being at war with a make believe country.

So by that logic, and I've touched on this before, new Aaron Sorkin show "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" must also be in its own, unique universe. Specifically because of the fake network they work on, "NBS." It was easy to accept on "Sports Night" because they were on a fictional cable network, and there are a million of those out there, but a fake network is a little weirder, since the fact that there are three big ones since the dawn of TV (and NBS is certainly presented as storied as ABC, CBS and NBC) is a pretty huge part of television history.

So are we to assume that NBS is just a stand-in for another one of the nets? Well, we can gather pretty solidly that NBC exists pretty, given the constant references to "Saturday Night Live" and Lorne Michaels. "Desperate Housewives" star Felicity Huffman was the host of the season premiere, so that presumably takes care of ABC. Les Moonves bid on "Search and Destory," so unless he's the head of ABC or NBC in Earth-60, so CBS does, too. So there's four historical, old-timey networks? Kind of weird. But not that big of a deal, I guess.

Not sure what the point is, really, but something to think about. If you happen to be really desperate for things to think about.

On a related note, this is pretty funny.

Mr. Meta

Last night's "Boston Legal" (paraphrased from memory):

Alan Shore: Does it bother, you, Denny, that there's a major murder case going on in this firm and we're not front and center?

Audience: Duh!

Why have they been relegated so much to a sideshow (well, Denny always is, but you know)? And the murder case? Kinda boring, at least given how much time and how many episodes it's been given.

New Kid nuked

"Runaway" is gone, after just three episodes in the apparently no longer lucrative post-"7th Heaven" timeslot. It now holds the distinction of being one of the few modern television programs that I never even flipped through and watched for like a minute or saw by accident at someone else's house or what have you.

Do believe the hype

Yikes, Eli. You've put on a few poundos since graduation. Apparently probation is not a conducive environment to healthy eating.

It was still great to see the guy, though. There's no doubt that he's an appealing character that's sort of refreshingly disconnected to everyone but Veronica (and Logan), and he should be an interesting side dish to the ongoing serial rapist main course. The first two episodes suffered without him, for sure.

Not that I didn't dig those first two episodes - and I didn't get people who thought they were noticeably worse. But maybe that idea somehow germinated in my head, because I wasn't feeling this episode at all. Everything seems a little bit lighter, both literally in terms of setting and metaphorically in terms that after a bus mass murder, the serial rapist storyline - which hasn't really hooked anyone yet, I don't think - seems not nearly as pressing, both in terms of the viewers and the characters involved. Maybe since the characters involved aren't really involved with anything else, yet, it feels disconnected.

The mini-mystery also felt trivial, in fact, it just was trivial. A missing football playbok? Is this "Archie's Weird Mysteries"? Will V-Mars have to tackle the case of the disappearing bake sale goods next week? I'm a fan of the one-off capers, but usually the twists are more, shall we say, interesting. You would think that by now Ronnie would know to cross off the most obvious suspect off her list and just go straight for the unconventional ones (yes, I know why it has to be like that for dramatic purposes).

Also, no Wallace, Lamb or Mac was a drag. And no Parker was upsetting to some extent, I suppose. Wallace especially is a central a part of the show, as much as Keith or Logan, and it's odd to think he just won't be around for nine episodes this season. At least last year there was a storyline reason for it.

But it was still more entertaining than most stuff on TV (TM), had some good stuff (Weevil as season 1 Veronica helping Keith, cute LoVe moments) and I have enough faith in the creators and cast that next episode will rebound. At least it better be, or I'm writing a strongly-worded letter.

You can't dance if you want to

So they're not going to give Willa Ford a stay of execution? No elimination this week? Awkward. We'll see how that plays out.

Mario Lopez talking about being happy that "an old friend and a new friend got to meet" in regards to Eva Longoria and his partner, Karina Smirnoff, sounded way less innocent than they intended. Unless he did intend it. Hot.

Jerry Springer remaining in is goofy, yes, but given that his partner, Kym Johnson, is probably the hottest pro dancer in "DwtS" history, I can deal. It's a tough competition, for sure, but sorry, Mario, I think Karina is somewhere towards the bottom of the pack. She looks sort of, you know, like an alien.

I'm excited to see Tom Bergeron, Investigative Journalist.

Channel Surfing for Tuesday, October 17

Joy! It's the one-year anniversary of "The Colbert Report." I remember certain people telling me about this time last year that it wouldn't last; who's laughing now, girl behind me in line at the Bank of America inside of the Fry's on McClintock and Baseline in Tempe?

There's also...other stuff on TV. Like this:

Help Me Help You
8:30 p.m., ABC
Tim Meadows and Michael McKean guest star, helping you remember the worst season in “Saturday Night Live” history.

Seriously, it was rough. And don't forget about "Dancing with the Stars," where Sara Evans is doing an interview explaining why she dropped out (well, the PG-"DwtS" version, I guess, probably not much talk about pictures of erect penises). Oh what a night! And I haven't even gotten to Ed Begley, Jr. - Stan Sitwell himself - on "Veronica Mars."

Read about all this here. Or go buy a paper, you cheap bastiches. There's an especially enlightening "Frank and Ernest" tomorrow.

Other news

- Here's a funny addendum to Monday's "How I Met Your Mother," where we got to see Barney's awesome apartment for the first time. Although confusing a Clonetrooper for a Stormtrooper lost them some points in my book for sure.

- If you dug last week's "Veronica Mars," peep this video about the 1971 "Stanford Prison Experiment," which was the inspiration for last week's eppy. For those looking for videos of the band Stanford Prison Experiment, you might want to try www.marginalmid90sbandsthatiactuallydontrememebratalloutsideofthename.com. Oh, it's (not) real.

- "They"'re making a "Transformers" movie, don't you know, and the producers are holding an online contest for fans to write a line of dialogue for Optimus Prime to say during the movie, taking a much more direct path than "Snakes on a Plane" or the "I'm the Juggernaut, bitch" line in "X-Men: The Last Stand" as far as "letting Internet geeks write our movie" goes. Asking for trouble. Here are some of the actual contenders:

"Do a barrel roll!" - Dustin, Baltimore, MD

"These pretzels are making me thirsty!" - Bill, Ottawa, IL (but popularized by George Costanza, New York, NY)

"Alpha Trion said there'd be days like this." - Jason, Methuen, MA

I guess that last one's supposed to be...serious? Seems like a waste. In other news, this is the first result on a Google image search for "Optimus Prime."

- Although I might be harsh at times on "Studio 60," I'm no Pia Guerra, co-creator of awesome comic book "Y: The Last Man" (if you ask me nicely, I'll let you borrow my copies). Here's what she opined on fellow comic book creator Brian Michael Bendis' message board:

I gave it two episodes and I'm done. Last night's show was painful. Just painful. If the characters have to wave their arms saying "WE'RE IMPORTANT! WE'RE FUNNY! WE'RE REVOLUTIONARY" then chances are they aren't. The cell phone sketch wasn't funny, the executives fighting for relevant television was laughable, and everyone falling over themselves over Sting made me gag. And I'm a fan of Sting... before he got all sappy and shitty anyway but all the yoga loving socio-progressives haven't noticed that yet I guess.

I was moaning during Lahti's loathesome speech about the right and left coming together once a week in Perry's relationship (pleeeeze!) and then I was screaming at the tv when his character says he picked that song just for her! Holy crap! Can you make yourself look any more loser-ish with such crappy dialogue!?

I'm sorry but has anyone seen any of the zillion documentaries out there about SNL? Those guys don't sit around wondering aloud how their humour will change society! They're just writing gags! Their primary concerns are A) get a laugh out of their bit, B) hope to god their piece of airtime doesn't get cut after the rehearsal show, and C) stick around long enough to get a sweet movie deal so they can get out of that hellhole.

Oh but this is studio 60! It's an ideal show, just like Chicago Hope was the ideal hospital and the West Wing was the ideal White House Administration. Problem with ideals is that it turns into a wank fest. "Oh look how enlightened we are, this is how things SHOULD be run. Sting and tolerance and integrity all around!" And then it becomes complete fantasy.

I don't believe any of these people or situations and that's why I too am dropping it.

Fed up

Kevin Federline was on WWE Raw Monday night.


It didn't work out so well, though, what with him getting the delicately named "F-U" (a wrestling move, not a metaphorical snub) from John Cena, star of recently-opened Oscar contender "The Marine."

Watch the video here.

Bearly believable

Well. Never mind.

These "Heroes" aren't very heroic!

ANOTHER Nancy Grace parody? Come now. When you're ripping off the cutting-edge, biting humor of "Boston Legal," you might be in trouble.

When Christine Lahti was asking Sarah Paulson about the religious-bashing sketches, including "Pat Robertson, Weather Man," why didn't she ask about singing on "The 700 Club"? That's what I immediately thought of. I mean, I don't want to say that I'm a better reporter than Aaron Sorkin's fictional Vanity Fair reporter...but you know,

I strenuously doubt "Search and Destory" would be that popular in this current climate. It's not like "Temptation Island" was even a big hit at all, but people sure seem to think it is now for some reason.

Who exactly thinks that dude's Nicolas Cage is so great we have to see it every week? That sketch doesn't even make sense, because even a bad "SNL" skit would somehow make it reflective of Nicolas Cage's career or personal life, but that's just a guy doing a rather broad Nicolas Cage impression while saying completely normal things. Where's the joke?

Although I am psyched for that United Nations comedy!

To counter all of my making fun of "Studio 60," and to curtail "But why do you even bother watching?" arguments, each week, I'll say something positive about it. Alright. Here goes. Wow. Nervous. Yikes. OK. Ed Asner is good.

Bearly breathing

Well, maybe my prediction was wrong. Maybe.

On an unrelated note, is the expository narration at the beginning of "Heroes" the cheesiest thing in a while or what? THEY HAVE POWERS. THAT PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THEY HAVE. BUT PEOPLE ARE FINDING OUT.

Ripped open cheerleaders? Super gross.

Here's a neat story about Masi Oka's day job.

Unofficial business

This is a fan edit, with Jenna Fischer's lines from "Employee of the Month" (not the wretched-looking Dane Cook movie, a 2004 film with Matt Dillon) dubbed in. It would have been sort of refreshing to see the characters cut to the quick like this. Audio is totally "NSFW," for those who have a job that allows you to listen to YouTube videos loudly at work but somehow frowns upon profanity and sexual innuendo.

Don't Budge

How many people saw Rosie O'Donnell's guest appearance on "Nip/Tuck" and thought "Wow, I want to see more of this character"? Apparently someone did. And that report also says she paid $100,000 to have sex with Christian - wasn't it $450,000?

FICTIONAL LOTTERY WINNERS I'D RATHER SEE A SHOW BASED ON:

1) Earl Hickey
2) Hugo "Hurley" Reyes
3) Final season Roseanne

FICTIONAL LOTTERY WINNERS I WOULD NOT RATHER SEE A SHOW BASED ON:

1) Everyone on "Windfall"

Hey, they had their chance.

Believe it or not, this is an actual Wikipedia article. I put in "fictional lottery winners" as a joke, and, wow.

Superfan roundtable

These people are presenting an accurate assessment of how the Chicago Bears will likely perform against the Arizona Cardinals tonight:



"Ditka will personally sack Matt Leinart." - Noah Austin

Separated at birth?

A can't miss "Heroes"

...no, not the one tonight, although that's surely good, too.

NBC has apparently caved to the legal pressure put on by
InSinkErator, who has sued the network for the Hayden Panettiere hand mangling scene in the first episode of "Heroes." The first episode is mysteriously gone from iTunes, a bummer for people who haven't gotten on the bandwagon yet. If they don't figure this thing out (they probably will), it'll be a real roadblock for attracting new viewers, especially a show like this where you want to start out on the ground floor.

They can't all be Trivection Ovens, I suppose.

Mutually beneficial

More like "Night of a bunch of overlong bits!" Haha, no. It was alright - if only for the quasi-"Mr. Show" reunion with some bona fide new (albeit fleeting) Bob/David skits.

Where was my good buddy Norm Macdonald? He was advertised on the Comedy Central Web site but probably got relegated to "commercial break" duty. Good thing we got to see Jimmy Fallon's always funny Barry Gibb instead!*

Will Ferrell's Robert Goulet is definitely an overlooked gem as far as his over the top, not at all accurate but funny because it's so over the top impressions go (see also: Neil Diamond, George W. Bush, Janet Reno, and so on).

Ben Stiller was totally channeling Tony Wonder for that David Blaine bit.

Colbert's line about waiving his appearance fee may have been joke of the night for me.

*not always funny

Evans: No

Sara Evans has quit "Dancing with the Stars"! At least she went out with a respectable performance. Does this mean Willa Ford gets a reprieve, or will there just not be an elimination next week (unlikely). If the former is the case, can I re-use my "Voters: Escort Ford" subject header?

"It is too bad because dance has a really healing quality to it as well, and I think the family of DWTS could be a great support system for her," Carrie Ann Inaba told Us Weekly.

Wow, she's trying really hard to be nice. Sounds painful.

Here are some of the gory details of Evans' divorce, supposedly the reason she dropped out.

Here is my favorite:

-Evans claims that Schelske keeps more than 100 photos of Schelske "posing with his erect penis"

A victimless crime, right?

Natural talent

So I'm watching "Supernatural" for the first time because of Amber Benson.

Is it just me, or are the two lead actors really bad? Admittedly I haven't seen much of them, so I could be wrong. But so far, yikes, they seem pretty stiff. Dreamy, yes. But still stiff. I don't remember Jensen Ackles being this bad on "Smallville."

Cast in Amber

"Buffy" alert! Amber Benson, who played Willow's gunned-down witch girlfriend Tara in Buffy seasons 4-6, is guesting on "Supernatural" tonight. Here's some evidence for why she's cool:

1) She's cute
2) She's written comic books
3) She was one of the better singers on "Once More, with Feeling"
4) She doesn't get too freaked out when I take spy pictures of her at Comic-Con.

All in all, the perfect woman.

Adaptive behavior

"The Devil Wears Prada" is coming to Fox. They should call it "Pretty Elizabeth."

Two shows about the behind the scenes of a late sketch program being on simultaneously is unlikely, but two shows about unstylish girls working their way up an impossibly stylish New York City fashion magazine is just sort of, I don't know, lame.

Placed product

For the DVR-ownin', commercial-skippin' among us, the GE Trivection Oven that Alec Baldwin was talking about on "30 Rock" last night is actually real. Corporate synergy (GE owns 80% of NBC Universal) at its best, right (check out the "The GE Profile oven with Trivection technology becomes a star on NBC's new sitcom, 30 Rock" tagline on the page)? But it does appear to be a rather lovely oven. I guess it was her idea, too. It's still not the best use of product placement, but it's not bad.

I hear episode 3's all about the GE Energy Star Dehumidifier.

Star turn

So how did unprecedented media coverage, including an Entertainment Weekly cover and the greatest kudo possible - the longest "Channel Surfing" item in history - lead to 1/3 less viewers for the "Battlestar Galactica" season three premiere than season two's premiere got? On one hand, it's not that surprising - a lot of people probably dig the outer space adventure, and what you got was two depressing, dimly lit hours of secondary characters like Tyrol and Tigh complaining about how much life sucks. Even if some of us find that great.

It does make this rumor, that NBC is moving the show to the peacock to play after "Heroes," seem even more ridiculous. More than 2.2 people watch the lowest-rated prime time network show by accident. It's already been debunked, though, and I even contacted Sci Fi publicity myself to get confirmation of the rumor's falseness. Probably unnecessary, but I go the extra mile for you surfers.

The third in the hat trick of "BSG"-related news is executive producer David Eick developing a new "Bionic Woman" series for NBC. What else is there to say except "could be pretty cool"? What I'm really looking forward to are the old school "Bionic Woman" fans inevitably complaining that they've ruined everything that was good and pure about the original show. Yeah, that'll be awesome.

Channel Surfing for Thursday, October 12

"I come tight with every rhyme
I built a kingdom down the street from pepperdine
This marijuana got me heavily sedated
Im Kevin Federline
America's most hated" - Kevin Federline, "America's Most Hated"

K-Fed makes his acting debut tonight on "CSI" - well, depending on what you classify "Britney & Kevin: Chaotic" as. All I know is that I most certainly could not handle their truth.

Also, based on consistent recommendations from folks, I will attempt to watch "Ugly Betty." I have said many times before that I would have no problem with the show if it were on ABC Family, but on actual ABC I find it hard to swallow. Does this make sense? Probably not. We'll see how it goes. In the immortal words of Bart Simpson, I can't promise I'll try, but I'll try to try.

This "Six Degrees" description also has me curious:

Six Degrees
9 p.m., ABC
This new episode of the expansive soap deals with a criminal called "the Puncher," who is terrorizing New York City by punching random people and then running away. They should have called him "the greatest criminal ever."

Beware the Puncher!

Read more about "CSI," an intriguing as always "Office" and other stuff here.

1,320 bad seconds

I'm very curious - was "Twenty Good Years" as bad as advertised?

Batting order

Uses of the Boston Red Sox win in the 2004 World Series in order of effectiveness:

1) This week's "Lost"
-1,000) "Fever Pitch"

Voters: Escort Ford

Willa Ford is the fifth one out on "Dancing with the Stars." At first glimpse it seems pretty unfair given that she got a tied-for-first 27 this week and a 28 this past week, but it's actually a pretty talented field this time out (she was tied with three other people this week, after all) and really, no one cares about Willa Ford. Her "who is that person again?" factor is maybe even higher than Monique Coleman, who is at least distinguished for something that took place in the last five years.

Jerry Springer is worse, but apparently he still has a lot of fans (although when was the last time you heard someone talk about his show? 1998?) and there's probably at least a little bit of the vote for the worst mentality going on. Sara Evans is also less talented, but she has middle America in her pocket and actualy didn't suck this week. Although I do think this is the first time anyone's been eliminated after having the highest score the week before. Maybe she shouldn't have severely pulled her hair back so unflatteringly so many times.

But Willa, you'll always have this, your crowning moment...slutting it up and singing like a robot.

Refer madness

For those of you that like those frilly, girly, fashion-y reality shows "Project Runway" and "America's Next Top Model," my good buddy Sam does a much better job blogging about them than I ever could, or would want to.

Now time to blog about a really manly reality show.

Shirley, you jest

"Boston Legal" is quite often a gleefully ridiculous show (why is this "Desperate Housewives" the hour long ABC program that always gets nominated for comedy categories and not this?), but Alan Shore going after Candice Bergen's character is just a little too much supension of this belief. Even if I don't totally buy the "James Spader as superstud" concept ("Stargate" is too entrenched in my memory, not to say that James Spader isn't one of my faves), it's just a little too much fawning than I like to see for a former "FYI" anchor not named Frank Fontana Corky Sherwood Forest.

I would like to take this time to thank "Boston Legal" for this season alone giving work to the following great former heroes, helping restore them to glory:







Bravo, David E. Kelley.

NOTE: A Google search for "Futurama" character Leela brings up way more photoshopped nude pictures of her than expected. Hint: anything is more than expected.

Animated conversation

Wowzers, not only did we get the latest (and I think maybe funniest, but I'm a fan of those "go nowhere" type of gags) Tek Jansen adventure, we also got a special appearance from "George L." It was weird to hear Lucas kind of dis "Episode One," and I don't follow these kinds of things that closely, but from my recollection it was the first time he's ever even joked about something he's done not being totally awesome and great (even things like this). The Colbert/Jar-Jar interaction was priceless. I smell buddy movie. Colbert's the renegade cop, Jar-Jar is a local bookstore owner corresponding with him through email. I'm not good at casting. Or writing screenplays.

Here are the videos. It's odd that one of the funniest episodes of the "Report" ever had nearly no political content.

Speaking of hilariously crudely animated shows-within-shows, which we were way back in the beginning of that last paragraph, they're going to be doing "Pale Force" webisodes. If you haven't seen the clips on "Late Night," check 'em out here.

Speaking of animation on Comedy Central, which we've kind of been doing, after two "Freak Show"...shows, it's not as bad as it looked like it could have been from the promos, but it still wasn't as hilarious as you'd hope given the names involved. Yet, it was also funnier than anything called "Freak Show" has the right to be and a notch above the say, "Clone High"s of the world. So it's really quite a paradox! I give it a billion stars (out of 2.7 billion). I would be a gold durned liar if I said that it's not still special every time I hear the pleasing sounds of H. Jon Benjamin's voice, and all the various iterations thereof.

"South Park" remains funny, as someone who has known people who have crossed state lines to be with significant others that they met on "World of Warcraft," last week's episode was especially poignant. "Drawn Together" remains one of the worst things ever. I sort of want to join a crazy right wing group just to get it thrown off air. Who's with me?

Medical debate

"Grey's Anatomy" guys Patrick Dempsey and Isaiah Washington apparently got in the wussiest fight ever the other day. Sort of funny to picture; a lot of smoldering goign on, no doubt.

INFORMAL SURVEY:

What's more annoying:

1) "McDreamy"
2) "Frak"

Anyone who responds will be placed into a drawing for a fabulous prize!*

*prize may not be fabulous. it may, instead, be TOTALLY AWESOME.

Channel Surfing for Wednesday, October 11

You know, it still seems like a victory for nerds everywhere whenever you seen a picture of Evangeline Lilly and Dominic Monaghan together. It probably shouldn't, but all the same, it does.

I Pity the Fool
10 p.m., TV Land
Mr. T has decided to stop merely passively pitying fools, and is going proactive to assist these fools in their daily lives.

What does Mr. T have to do with "Lost"? Well, who knows.

"30 Rock"! "Twenty Good Years"! "Sci Fi Investigates!" Here!

Blush with greatness

Yikes. I thought the K-Y Touch Massage 2-in-1 Warming Body Massage and Personal Lubicrant commercial was the dirtiest TV commercial I've ever seen, but then just now I saw a commercial for the Phoenix, AZ-based Aussie Makeover, named so, as they none-too-subtly point out, because it is enhancements for a woman's "down under."

That is exactly the most appalling thing they could have said.

Channel Surfing for Tuesday, October 10

So I was busy doing an interview and also watching what turned out to be a rather mediocre pro wrestling special, so I still need to watch "How I Met Your Mother," "Heroes" and "Studio 60." I'll probably only get to the first one before bed. I am an old person. I did see most of "The Class," the first of it I've seen since the premiere, and it's still pretty unremarkable. Today was also the first night of The CW's comedy lineup being on Monday, which is absolutely the right move. No need to bury one of their only buzz shows like "Everybody Hates Chris" at 6 p.m. Sunday nights.

And doesn't Jerry Lewis look like a werewolf of some kind here? Now that would be a must-see episode.

Law & Order: SVU
9 p.m., NBC
Comedy and telethon legend Jerry Lewis guest stars in the kind of role an actor craves ­- a senile homeless man suspected of brutal double rape and murder. He's also Munch's (Richard Belzer) uncle.

The rest - "Veronica Mars"! "Nip/Tuck"! The absurdly-premised "Scream Awards" (honoring horror, sci-fi, fantasy and comic books...yeah, since they're all the same. although I do love the idea of some of my favorite comic book creators showing up at a red carpet)! Read it here.

For those - like Entertainment Weekly - left a bit cold by the V-Mars season premiere, I'm thinking this episode is more your speed. But I also thought the season premiere was good, so who knows. It had Shawn from "Boy Meets World" acting evil, though, and that doesn't get old.

Sometimes you can't make it on your own

Because it's always funny when Mark Cuban is wrong: Google bought YouTube today for $1.65 billion. That's crazy; probably the biggest discrepancy of amount purchased and actual goods received since, well, you know. It's a different world when people shell out that kind of cash for the rights to host things like this:



Would any of this have happened without "Lazy Sunday"?

Games without frontiers (or interest)

There's a "Desperate Housewives" video game.

I know. I know. Here's the premise:

"In Desperate Housewives: The Game, you'll live out the lifestyle you've seen & loved on the hit ABC show. You're a new housewife on Wisteria Lane, and as you explore your new neighbrohood you'll discover all-new stories and secrets. The storyline is divided into episodes, each with new points and secrets waiting to be uncovered. Get the truth behind some delicious scandals -- and reveal some shocking secrets of your own."

From the sounds of it, the only cast member they got to participate is the disembodied voice of Mary Alice. Smart cast.

Metacritic has exactly zero reviews for it so far, which means that even people who play video games for a living know better than to go anywhere near this one. There's no reviews on Amazon, either. The "Desperate Housewives" audience isn't exactly your video game crowd (which is why this game is only available for PCs) - this very well might be the first video game to come out that no one has bought or played. It could be the game to finally beat out "E.T." for the Atari as worst game ever produced. Awesome.

At the very least, it might have surpassed this for lamest TV show tie-in merchandise ever:



Let's take a look at some of the blistering in-game action:



It's the most life-like Nicolette Sheridan has looked in years!

Wiig party

Justin sez: "Big Wigs might be the single worst skit of this grim era." Agreed? I'd love to link to it but somehow it didn't make it on to NBC.com. It's certainly worth considering; with all the bad sketches lately, something has to be the worst. Although I'm still going with "I'M CAROL!"

Everything I said here applies to the Nancy Grace sketch, although I still thought it was sort of funny.

Nerd alert

In a move sure to inspire geekgasms worldwide, Nathan Fillion is going to be on a few episodes of "Lost." That's the same Nathan Fillion that was Mal Reynolds on "Firefly" and Caleb on "Buffy" - well, I guess there are some people out there that love him best for his role on "Two Guys, A Girl and a Pizza Place" (I just called it 'the place') but probably not that many. It looks like a couple of episodes, and he'll have some sort of connection to Kate. Cool. I remember going to the "Serenity" panel at the San Diego con in 2005, and it was a little upsetting that none of the cast seemed to have too many projects lined up, so it's encouraging to see ol' Nate Fill get something so high-profile.

I've been reading some discussion about how the season premiere of "Battlestar Galactica" was "too dark" and "too real" for something that should be pure escapism - did I somehow miss when "BSG" was ever escapism? It's always had rather potent real world parallels - and isn't that the point of science fiction? And literature in general, really? Not everything has to be a direct parable, but there's no story that's just a story because it's entertaining. There's always some sort of point there. As a friend astutely said, "Entertainment for the sake of mindless escapism is called pornography." Or something like that. He's right, though. If sci-fi - or any genre - doesn't make at least some sort of statement, it's really a waste of time, and without any relevance it's hard to justify spending any time with it.

I can see some people thinking the show's getting a little heavy-handed, but they probably didn't really think too deeply about what was going on or is seeing things that aren't really there - it's not that the Cylons are America and the humans are Iraqis, it's trying to get us to contemplate the idea that nothing is that simple. Both sides are commiting acts that are indefensible - and it only gets worse in the next few episodes. It's a relatively complex show, and as such they're exploring some complex issues. Good for them, I guess. But hey, Michael Hogan is for sure stealing the show at this point.

But for those worried about it being too depressing right now, there is at least a little bit of a light at the end of the tunnel.

One thing that is funny is the screener copies Sci Fi sent didn't have all of the special effects done quite yet - so there's a lot of pilots in front of green screens, and in scenes like the end of the premiere where the Cylons form a firing squad in front of the detainees, words on the screen reading: "VFX: Cylons form firing squad" and the actors recoiling in horror while looking at an empty field. It's actually kind of interesting, though, and motivation to re-watch.

I caught some of "Heroes." Promising so far! Always nice to see one of the only Asians on prime time TV portrayed as completely stereotypical and a bumbling idiot.

Tootie and Natalie's Up in Smoke

Who knew?

British invasion

It's been quite a week for Lucy Davis - not only did she say three words or so on "Studio 60," she also was on "Ugly Betty." Which features the hilarious Ashley Jensen, Maggie on "Extras," as part of the main cast. So it's kind of a female lead on Ricky Gervais sitcom bonanza over there. Maybe I should actually, you know, watch "Ugly Betty."

Speaking of "Extras," I finally caught the first episode of season 2, and it was, predictably, great. Orlando Bloom as the latest celebrity playing an exaggeratedly hilarious version of himself was a treat, especially the dogged pursual of Maggie and his disdain for Johnny Depp. People who were put off by the first season since it wasn't "The Office" or was kind of boring at times should find this go around a little more accessible, I think, especially with the running plot of Andy's sitcom and the various ways it's going wrong - which in turn is a kind of interesting play on how "The Office" could have gone wrong if it wasn't, you know, so great.

If you feel bad about using...less than legal...means to obtain the new season before it hits HBO (hopefully early next year), you can always support Mssrs. Gervais and Merchant by downloading some podcasts.

SHOW-WITHIN-A-SHOW RANKINGS:

1) "All My Circuits"
2) "Itchy and Scratchy"
3) "FYI"
4) "Jerry"
5) "Wrench"
6) "Terrance and Phillip"
7) "Scandalmakers"
8) "When the Whistle Blows"
9) "Wake Up San Francisco"
10) "30 Rock"
11) "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip"
12) "Tool Time"